I am going to analyze a Netflix subscription like it was a pharmaceutical prescription.
Purpose: To prevent serious cases of boredom; to prevent the need to rent or purchase on DVD/Blu-ray any range of TV Shows and Movies
How it does this: It provides the subscriber access to millions (don’t quote me on that) of TV shows and movies at any time of day
Directions for Use: go to Netflix.com. Sign up – you will need some sort of credit card or other online payment (for instance, PayPal) to do so. Begin using in any manner you see fit.
Possible side effects: Uninterrupted long-term use may cause cabin fever or media oversaturation; High probability of binge watching, which in turn may cause impaired ability to keep track of time, post-finale depression, consistently quoting show dialogue in everyday conversation, the development of romantic attachments to one (or more) fictional characters, repeated acts of “shipping,” and if the show you binged on was “Arrested Development,” you may hear Ron Howard’s voice in your head narrating your day-to-day activities.
Okay, okay, I just wanted to say that I binged on Arrested Development and have experienced many of those side-effects. Particularly the one about hear Ron Howard’s voice narrate the mundane activities of my life. Specific example: “Lichenut didn’t feel like eating chips, so she made popcorn instead.” Yes, that is a real example. I did eat popcorn instead of chips as a snack today.
Anyway, I really wanted to talk about this, and I didn’t feel like sharing it on Facebook. So I figured, “Hey, this is my blog, I can write about what I want. To heck with anyone who thinks my posts are boring or useless!” Which is why this post is here.
So that’s it. I don’t feel like I’ve made a huge mistake with this post, especially since the tequila incident definitely trumps it (see post “Official Drink of Hell“). So if you feel like this post wasted your time, you can always take a “forget-me-now” and just move along.